Type I Diabetes (Pancreatitis), Anxiety, Alcohol Addiction
What I Learned:
My deepest pain comes from my relationship with my wife. My perfectionism, low self esteem, need for others’ approval, and my guilt over my son, proved less painful than my dysfunctional marriage and the desire for a perfect romantic love. Here, I learned how unhealthy that relationship was, and also how unrealistic the idea of perfect romantic love is. I learned that I am all I need, that I can be alone with myself and at peace, that I don’t need another to complete me.
I have spent years analyzing, journaling and talking about my precise issues, but never reduced the pain in my heart or the warring voices in my head. I used to argue with my false beliefs all day long, and then feel fatigued, depressed and like a failure at the end of the day. At the Hawaii Naturopathic Retreat Center, I learned not to fight, instead to detach from those thoughts, either by becoming mindful and concentrating on a flower or my breathing, by simply watching the thoughts and being detached from them, or by recognizing that they are all a part of the agreements imposed on me when I was young and that I need not acknowledge them today. I let things go. I don’t resist reality. I accept whatever is.
Natural food satisfies my body unlike the empty calories of processed food. The empty calories made me alternatively sluggish and buzzy, up and down, and helped fuel the confusion of voices in my head. A mostly raw food diet using organic ingredients will keep me calmer. I really don’t need coffee….
My body is full of toxins and heavy metals from years of processed food and working on boats, etc. Cadmium can cause kidney dysfunction. Mercury is linked to anxiety, sleeplessness and depression. Lead and lead encephalopathy are linked to sleeplessness, restlessness and concentration difficulties.
I used to not permit myself to take care of my body properly – it was always a lower priority than work, other peoples’ needs, etc. Here I learned that my body can help me be happy and peaceful, if I honor and care for it. The EFT work showed me that the body has unconscious mechanisms that have eased both physical and emotional pain for me. Listening to my body puts me in touch with the present, and out of my mind. It also tells me what I really need.
Anthony
October 2013