Bulimia, Alcohol, Heavy Metal Detox
As a child I was ridiculed, called fat, and developed a fear of becoming overweight. I had a lot of stress and anxiety and never knew how to deal with it. Surrounded by unhealthy processed foods and dysfunctional people, I started restricting my eating at age twelve. Who knew how bogus the statement “sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt you” is? The mind begins to believe words like “chub-rock, thunder thighs, and round one”. My mind became a jail and the outcome became throwing up. I obsessed over everything I ate and at age thirteen, I started purging. The purging and restricting started slowly and it was scary at first. At age sixteen, I vomited very often and I would secretively work out; I started loosing a lot of weight. I didn’t have bowel movements or periods for years, my body started to shut down, and I lost interest in school and isolated often. I was in a living hell.
I’d been seeking treatment off and on since the age of fourteen, from outpatient therapy to involuntary inpatient traditional rehab centers. However, due to my lack of readiness and lack of a supportive environment, the seriousness of my problems was not understood and that in itself exacerbated my issues and gave rise to the bulimia. I felt like I would constantly find something that would allow me to sustain myself (for example: I survived one year on small amounts of graham crackers alone and at another point, I lived on mainly peanut butter for years). Eventually the binging and purging became out of control; any time I ate, I would obsess about where I could throw up. I could not allow food to stay in my system and it made people really uncomfortable. My teeth started deteriorating from the frequent vomiting and I had to spend a fortune on dental work, eventually getting full upper porcelain tooth crowns. I felt like I was constantly on overdrive because my body was deprived from nutrients. Once the bulimia -my “numbing drug”- reached it’s peak, along came alcohol and cigarettes, more tools to numb my pain. My alcohol use became out of control. Furthermore, I was surrounded by toxic chemicals from my work. The final straw, that provoked me to seek treatment, yet again (after already spending a fortune on past attempts), was my third DUI. Before finding Hawaii Naturopathic Retreat Center, other treatment centers did not address my whole being: they had me on lock down, didn’t treat me as a human that could think for myself, forced unhealthy processed foods on me, wouldn’t allow me to exercise, the therapy was horrible and I gained twenty five pounds in two weeks. The DUI and the terrible traditional treatment center were blessings in disguise because they lead me to seek holistic treatment to heal my whole body. I needed to not only be healed from my eating disorder but to be mentally relieved from the obsessive behavior and for my toxic, unbalanced body to be cured.
Before attending Hawaii Naturopathic Retreat Center, I spent six weeks on the phone with Nicolette and Dr. Baylac developing trust in them and they gave me some hope. As soon as I arrived, I knew it was the right place for me and that I would not return home the same person. I enrolled in the three month lifestyle changes program. As soon as I met Dr. Baylac, I started crying my eyes out because I new I finally found the right support. My life change started as soon as I stepped foot on the center property. It took a lot of trust to believe in the program, to participate in modalities like IV therapy, EFT, The Work, Breathwork, etc., but I went for it full force. I did exercise, swimming, yoga, Pilates, saunas and even the enemas!
Within weeks, for the first time in my life, I began to feel what it felt like to be in my body. That’s when I knew I was on the right track. If it wasn’t for the raw food chef, Ian, I don’t know what I would have done. His knowledge helped me to create a healthy relationship with my food, I was educated on the nutrients and learned that I could enjoy complex delicious meals. My cravings became manageable because I wasn’t consuming processed foods or unhealthy sodium or sugar. Feeling the energy and nutrients build in my body, from the food and green juices, I noticed my nails started to grow, and I started to heal from the inside out. I started to detoxify, my energy stabilized, my moods became more balanced and the irritability was diminished drastically.
The other patients both made me face issues that I needed to work on, and helped to create a supportive family that will always be there. I feel very confident and more than ready to live my life to the fullest and not just survive it. For the first time in my life (since I started purging) I am not purging at all! I’m finally able to laugh again, I’m finally able to share with people, both of which are very healing. I have a new found excitement for living, I want to go back to school, continue my passion for holistic living, love the earth, love my body, and someday be able to educate others on nutrition and wellbeing.
The bottom line of what I’ve learned is that you create your own reality in your mind. Finding your truth is key for living your own live. If something works, let it be.
Sincerely,
EK
32 years old
October 2013